Our Christian Bigotry on LGBTQ+
There are many theologians, including myself, advocating for Evangelical Denominations to fully affirm LGBTQ+ personhood and marriage, but they have resisted. Many well-intentioned Pastors, recognizing complete exclusion of LGBTQ+ individuals is incompatible with loving all people, are now embracing an idea called Side B as a perceived middle ground that allows the church to accept LGTBQ+ individuals and still hold a theology that views sexual relations among people of the same sex as sinful. The term Side B, coined over a decade ago by self-identified Gay Christians, essentially refers to Christians within the LGBTQ+ community who have chosen to practice their faith while remaining celibate. While I validate the desire for inclusion behind some of these Pastor’s actions, straight Christian leaders advocating Side B from LGBTQ+ Christians is dangerously hypocritical and a disobedience of the text of the Bible. It is an act of bigotry to mandate Side B; it is holding a group we view as the “other” to a sexual ethic that we do not hold all Christians to within our churches.
A few notes, this essay is not in any way an indictment of Side B Christians. The choice to live Side B is done for a variety of reasons: for some this is to honor the prohibition on same-sex relations believed to be in the Bible, for others it is to choose peaceful Evangelical church community. Side B Christians affirm the sexual identity of LGBTQ+ individuals as God-given but believe God has led them to choose not to engage in sexual practices. The faith and adherence of these Jesus followers is inspiring. One’s personal choice to obey Side B is beautiful (as any person’s choice to be celibate is); those identifying as straight mandating Side B is abusive.
Hypocrisy: At the core of this issue is how we interpret the Bible. Evangelicalism holds to both Biblical Inerrancy (the Bible is perfect/ without fault) and a plain reading of the text regardless of its context. This plain reading sees the Bible as condemning same sex relations of any kind (Six passages, five of which are contained within a single sentence while Romans 1 is a longer, but nuanced passage). However, this approach on human sexuality itself is hypocritical and untenable within our churches. Yes, a plain reading condemns same sex relations of some kind, however it also clearly and equally condemns divorce and remarriage and any sex outside the bounds of marriage. A plain reading of the text does not allow for second virginity or see beauty in a second marriage; this view of the text says humanity gets one sexual partner, for life, unless they die, in which case we can remarry. Yes, the Bible allows divorce in the context of infidelity (Matthew 19:9) and abandonment (1st Corinthians 7:15), but it does not permit remarriage while one’s prior spouse is alive (1stCorinthians 7:10–11). There is some argument in the Bible that early Christians could remarry if their spouse outside the faith left them (1st Corinthians 7:15), there is no allowance in the Bible for two professed Christians divorcing and either one remarrying. This was shocking even its day and thus when the disciples expressed how harsh Jesus’ teachings were on this topic, Jesus responded by stating they were welcome to choose celibacy for life (Matthew 19:11–12). A plain reading advocates marriage for life to one’s first sexual partner, and only allows a second sexual partner after the passing of the first — that is it.
The Bible certainly advocates for the celibacy of a Side B life (Matthew 19:11, 1st Corinthians 7:7) but it does so towards all humanity that is outside the bound of one’s first marriage or subsequent marriages after being widowed. That is it. So in straight Evangelicals advocating Side B for LGBTQ+ Christians, they are demanding a Biblical standard that is not remotely imposed on straight Christians. No mainstream Evangelical church advocates that straight adults who lost their virginity before marriage remain single and celibate for life (unless ones first sexual partner seeks marriage). Nor do these churches advocate that divorced Christians remain single and celibate unless and until their spouse returns. The New Testament did not view the divorce of two Christians as possible or permissible. Hypocritically, mainstream Evangelicalism widely affirms divorce and remarriage for straight Christians and straight marriage after multiple sexual partners, while demanding celibacy for LGBTQ+ Christians whose sexual acts may be declared wrong in a plain reading of the text.
Now, of course this interpretation of human sexuality within the Bible is extreme. Of course the church should not mandate celibacy for life towards all people who have either been divorced or have been sexually active previously. Of course the church needs to operate in grace and compassion for humanity dealing with divorce and a long history of sexual relationships. The New Testament of the Bible never intended to mandate celibacy for all people who have had sex previously, essentially a sexual death sentence. Within the text we see a robust argument against rigidly applying rules without kindness and mercy (Matthew 22:40, Romans 2:1–4, 1stCorinthians 10:23). As a Christian leader, ask yourself, would you ever mandate that a divorced Christian never marry again, for decades?
And this is the point — Evangelicalism uses this plain reading of the text to demand Biblical adherence of LGBTQ+ sexuality while it does not hold Christians who identify as straight to the same strict Biblical interpretation in their sexual practices. A plain reading of the text on human sexuality is rigid and cruel, we discard it for majority of Christians while demanding it for those who identify as LGBTQ+. It is profoundly hypocritical to hold LGBTQ+ Christians to a rigid Biblical standard on sexuality that is not required of straight Christians.
Disobedience: Mandating Side B adherence is also unbiblical. The Bible has a robust teaching on celibacy, and it is simply not presented as something to be mandated but rather something one is called to, on their own conscience, by God. Jesus gives a long dissertation about the “eunuch” affirming their humanity and stating some are born that way, others made that way and finally some choose to live like a eunuch for the sake of the gospel (Matthew 19:11–12). There is no hint that “making someone a eunuch” is positive, but rather Jesus is acknowledging the realities of the broken and violent world of Jesus day.
Paul in the New Testament goes on to say that he wishes all of humanity could be celibate, as he is, but that it is a calling that not all people have (1st Corinthians 7:7). Furthermore, Paul discusses sexual lust and strongly advocates one marry and thus find an outlet for sexual desire rather than remain single, celibate, but being overwhelmed by lust for sexual contact (1st Corinthians 7:9). This text has been used within Evangelical circles for years to justify early marriage among young straight Christians, it is odd that this passage is not considered towards LGBTQ+ Christians though it probably has to do with the overarching denial of the validity of LGBTQ+ personhood within Evangelical circles.
The Bible presents celibacy as a personal theological choice. Celibacy is the preferred Biblical lifestyle, not for LGBTQ+, but for all humanity, but it is recognized as difficult and damaging if forced onto someone.
In Conclusion, this is difficult for most Evangelical leaders, but there is no solution to this question of LGBTQ+ in the church that denies the validity of gay marriage but allows the validity of Christians divorcing and remarriage, or marriage to someone else after sexual activity among Christians. If you hold to the rigidity of the text, a plain reading clearly brings one to completely denounce both issues and leads you to a strict fundamentalist approach to human sexuality that is untenable in our modern churches. This is a major reason so many of us have moved to an affirming position on gay marriage and LGBTQ personhood. We recognize the inherent brittleness of our former Biblical positions. In embracing grace towards human sexuality, we have wrestled with hard questions of hypocrisy and bigotry. Many remarriages are beautiful and honoring of God — as many marriages within the LGBTQ+ community are as well. This leads one to the Covenantal Marital Ethic pioneered by Christian ethicist David Gushee* which is openly affirming of gay marriage.
Side B — mandated lifetime celibacy — is not a solution for Evangelical leaders wanting to welcome LGBTQ+ Christians into their churches. Straight Evangelicals advocating Side B is demanding gay Christians adhere to a standard that Evangelicalism correctly refuses to place on straight Christians. We recognize the rigid cruelty of imposing a lifetime of celibacy on divorced Christians and young unmarried sexually active Christians, we inherently recognize the bible allows compassion and mercy, but in our bias, we fail to see the cruelty in mandating celibacy on the Gay Christian community. The Bible views embracing celibacy for the gospel of Jesus Christ (whatever one’s sexuality) as a beautiful personal act but mandating it on a specific population is bigoted and unbiblical.
*See Changing Our Mind, David Gushee, 2014.
